Friday, December 26, 2008

What Friendship Means To Me

Friendship is that relationship which we choose ourselves. Family ties, being by birth, don’t leave us with scope of selecting. It is friendship and the friends we choose to have that make a statement on the type of people we are.

To me friendship is primarily based on shared values. An honest person will not befriend a thief. A thief, pretending to be friends with an honest man, will only wait for an opportunity to exploit or cheat him. Friends need to be carefully chosen or they will cause much pain in the long run.

Giving space in friendship is integral to the health of the relationship. If your friend starts to dictate terms to you in matters which don’t affect him at all, he is not showing any respect towards you. The same goes for those who always give advice unasked for and pass negative comments. Such people are just pretenders, not true friends.

Friendship is about inner growth. If a person makes you feel empowered to face the challenges of life, he is your friend. If a person is sensitive to your feelings and takes care not to hurt you, she is your friend. In this aspect, friendship gives a sense of fulfillment in life, like few things do. However, that does not mean we become emotionally dependent on our friend and feel shattered if he decides to annul the friendship. Like any other relationship, friendship is a learning experience and should not pose an existential-crisis in a person’s emotional life.

Finally, friendship is about self-respect. Your friend will do his best to boost your self-esteem if needed. Otherwise, in my opinion, you should move on. The universe is full of deserving friends; true friendship needs time to take root and sometimes comes as a welcome surprise. The stranger you are talking to today, may bring with him the chance of a beautiful relationship called true friendship.


KParthasarathi said...

Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade."
- William Shakespeare
Very nicely written,Ayesha,thanks

Ayesha Parveen said...

Thanks KP for the beautiful words.I would be happy to know if you agree with my concept of the beautiful relationship called friendship.

KParthasarathi said...

How can one disagree with what you have written about friendship.You have explained the essence of friendship succinctly

Whirlwind said...

How true Ayesha and very well expressed. I especially agree with the parah where you've written about how a friend shouldnt dictate terms to others. Thats what happens with the ones whom you are close to over a span of several years and they think they have the right to tell others what to do. Its essential to give space.

Ayesha Parveen said...

Thank you KP for your support and encouragement. Best wishes.

Ayesha Parveen said...

Swetha, thank you for your comment and for expressing your opinion. Best wishes.

Shravan said...

well said about friendship;) actually wanted to write some more, and i forgot :( !!next time!!

Ayesha Parveen said...

Thanks Shravan. Yes, true friendship is all about inner growth and mutual respect. Best wishes.

Mustaf said...

In brief, i believe a friend is a mirror reflection of oneself. Friends reflect one's personality.

But on the emotional attachment, i think it is quite natural to develop the feeling for each other. We feel bad when we need our friends but they don't have time.This is one of the purest relationship where neither we have any legal binding nor we have any liability. Still, we feel bad when a friendship does not have the same fragrance like before, because we are human being. But yes, i agree we should move on at the end of the day.

Ayesha Parveen said...

Hi Mustaf!

Thanks a lot for your appreciative, detailed comment. Yes, it is better to move on than stay in a fake relationship.

Best wishes :)