A very dear friend of mine says he disapproves of human attachments because with death, the loss of a dear one can cruelly hurt the ones who stay behind. I am unable to explain to him that lack of attachment hurts as well and sometimes, it hurts even more. If this life is short, why not spend it in sharing happiness and love? The beautiful memories we create with our loved ones can make life meaningful and help bear the separation caused by death.
And there is nothing called the ever-lasting separation. Since death means moving on to the next phase of the universal journey, there is, in death, always the chance of meeting again. In fact, I believe that if affection is genuine, we do meet again.
If my friend happens to read this post, I hope he will understand that beyond pain, there is always happiness. Beyond death, there is eternal life. Beyond separation, there is reunion.
14 comments:
Its like two sides of the same coin. One wants to have attachment to feel the wonderful aspects of loving and giving. Yet afraid to do so for fear of being hurt. A soulful and a stirring write up.
He definately would! We lose on loads of happiness by forming certain notions for ourselves which never lead us towards eternal happiness. One should try to spread love as long as he/she is around, after all who knows what'll happen tomorrow, life is today, what we have in hand , don't worry about tomorrow which is something we don't know anything about. Nice Post Ayesha, best wishes and May God shower you with the love of one and all:)
Thank you Swetha for your comment. It is true that people shy away from love for fear of being hurt. But the very acts of loving and giving can be so fulfilling in themselves. Best wishes :)
Thank you very much Sana for your comment and for the good wishes to me for the love of one and all :)I wish the same to you.
Have a wonderful day.
There is a Hindi saying which goes some thing like 'Marne ki darse Jeena mat chodo'. Life gives birth for death. Its the final destination of all travel. When we all know this why not sit back and enjoy all stations which our journey passes thru? By closing the eyes we miss all the beauty and excietment. It does not spare us from reaching the destination.
Thank you Ajay, for your comment. What you have said is true. We should take life as it comes. Best wishes :)
There cannot be an universal view on this subject.Liking friends and being concerned about their well being without getting attached much is the way to go particularly for people in their twilight years who endeavour to realise themselves and get attched to God.The perceptions differ on the basis of age and surrounding circumstances.Detachment does not mean less loving or hurting.Our scriptures teach us to be like a drop of water on lotus leaf,being very much there but not belonging to it.
Dear Parthasarathi,
Thank you for your detailed comment. You are right that we should be like a drop of water on the lotus leaf; it means that one should not become a control-freak or possessive in relationships.
However,it does not mean that we withdraw from those who truly love us. After all, human love is also a manifestation of divine love. No one would have loved another person had God not put love in a human heart. True love of any kind is not "moha" or illusion; such love takes us nearer God, for that is the purpose of love.
Best wishes,
Ayesha
Well I am just 19 and I don't really know if i am any authority to comment on this.But still, since i found the post very thought-provoking(actually this is one issue i have always pondered over a lot), i would like to share my view. What I have learnt from my own experience is that you can be happiest if u can maintain close relationships without getting too emotionally attached. It's always optimal if u can keep a certain limit. It's not just death that can precipitate the pain that is inevitable when u get too attached to someone; when u love someone too much, when u get emotionally dependent on them, the smallest things they say(or don't say), the least significant negligence or insensitivity on their part, can hurt u ten times more than it would in the normal course of things. You expect too much from them and after all, they are also human, they can't live upto ur expectations every time. So i would advocate a healthy detachment even in the most intimate relationships. Better avoid a "I can't live without you"scenario if u desire happiness in the long run and the longevity of the relationship. Let me also confess here that this is one philosophy which i have not yet succeeded in putting to practice in real life. Not that I haven't tried(i have, i sincerely have) but i always ended up getting too attached, thanks to my hyper-emotional nature, and as a result, getting hurt over and over again in the process. But someday, i hope i will get the strength and wisdom and maturity to actually implement this philosophy in my life.
Thank you Jinju for visiting my blog and leaving a detailed comment. I believe in positive attachment; if it works, well and good; otherwise, it is better to move on.
Do visit again. Best wishes :)
Very thoughtful write up. I agree with what you say...
Actually, true love never bonds you. It will only set you free. If you truly 100% live & love that person, I don't think death of that person would be painful. Moreover, the guilt of neglecting him only would hurt more.
Hope he gets to read your valuable post :)
Hey Manivannan, thanks a lot for your thoughful comment. You are 100% right when you say that true love actually sets us free.
Best wishes.
I have read thru this blog and found it very intersting and want to comment as even i have gone through this kind of experience.Sometimes when iam hurt becoz of my close/loving friends,i feel that its not worth it and that i should just end the relation just for selfish reason that i shdnt get hurt at the end.But again i think back and feel ...its okay to get hurt sometimes(and be with friends) and go on rather than living a life with no friends/dear ones.Over the period of time,we enjoy the pain also.
The inevitable truth of life - - "Everyone is going to HURT you sooner or later...you JUST have to realize WHO IS WORTH THE PAIN"
Hi Jyo, thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. You are very right when you say that we have to realize who is worth the pain.
Do visit again. Have a nice day :)
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