Thursday, May 21, 2009

There is nothing called the final goodbye


Often people feel that death snatches away their dear ones. This becomes one of the reasons why some people are afraid of deep emotional attachments. If being born is something natural, so is death. What is the point in mourning something that is inevitable?

Yet people cry when someone dear to them dies. I cried when my mother passed away. Once more, death made me cry when I saw my former-student, Shayaan's body in the coffin. We cry primarily because with death we lose tangible contact with the departed and we think we will not be able to share our feelings and experiences with him or her ever again. Then we cry because we feel the departed person did not get enough of this life.

Yes, it hurts to be separated by death, but I personally believe that there is a joyous reunion beyond this life. The supreme mastermind of the universe is kind; He would not play any cruel game with anyone. Thus, death is just a temporary separation between the living and the dead. If this life is unfair to a person, he gets compensation in the hereafter. Those who love always have faith and their faith manifests as reality.

(This post is dedicated to the memory of Shayaan Chowdhury who passed away on 24 May 2008. It was a cruel experience for me to see my former-student's lifeless body. The photo at the top of the post, is Shayaan's.)
(The views expressed in this post are my own and I have no intention here to propagate or denounce any school of thought on death, religious or otherwise.)

Quoting the poem, Death Be Not Proud, by John Donne:

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill mee.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

21 comments:

Rush said...

Shayaan looks so young..my heartfelt condolence.But what happened? how did this unfortunate incident take place?

Ayesha Parveen said...

Hi Rush,

Thank you very much for visiting and for the condolences and the comment.

Shayaan had a fatal car-accident...was in coma for about 10days and then declared dead. He was only 19.

Do visit again, Rush.

Best wishes,

Ayesha

GreyPilgrim said...

May be GOD wanted better people for his services he was called on SOS,surely there is a joyous reunion beyond this life.........Nice post Ayesha

Grey

Ayesha Parveen said...

Hi Grey,

Thank you very much for your kind words.

Regards,

Ayesha

A New Beginning said...

I am sure you must have been a great friend to him. Preserve his memories and cherish them forever Ayesha,May God give you strength, and May Shayaan rest in peace.

KParthasarathi said...

A touching tribute to the memory of the young Shayaan

Ayesha Parveen said...

Hi Parthasarathi and Sana,

Thank you very much for your appreciative comments.

Regards,

Ayesha

deeps said...

The note I posted on death, still lingers fresh in my mind …

When a beloved one dies and departs, at least for a moment all our philosophies and theologies come to a stand still to get in touch with the eschatological realities with hope ..

Well, so you are a teacher..!

Me deepu only
Actually all back home wanted my name to be Deepak then, but I liked this one dono why ….

Ayesha Parveen said...

Hi Deepu,

You are right in saying that all philosophies vanish when someone dear to us dies. But a point comes when we do start questioning why death happens.

I always believe that the final message of life is positive; so, death being a part of life, is also positive.

Yes, I am a teacher by profession. Shayaan was like a son to me.

Whirlwind said...

My condolences Ayesha. May his soul rest in peace.

Ayesha Parveen said...

Thank you, Swetha.

Regards,

Ayesha

Vivek Patwardhan said...

Very touching post.

I understand your feelings.

Those who are close to us take away a part of us when they pass away.

Vivek

manivannan said...

It's really painful to know...may God take care of his soul! My heartfelt prayers to Shayaan.

Death of loved ones is really painful...but God assures death is not the end. Even in Gita, Shree Krishna says, death is, liking changing clothes, a man changes his body, he takes from one form to the another.

But our experience is mostly limited to only one dimension of life...that's why death is a suffering for us...

And it's really kind of you to remember your student...Great!

Ayesha Parveen said...

Hi Vivek,

A warm welcome to you; thank you very much for visiting my blog and giving a comment. Do come again.

Regards,

Ayesha

Ayesha Parveen said...

Hi Manivannan,

Thank you so much for your kind words...

Krishna's words are always so comforting. Even as we become aware spiritually, usually in mid-childhood, we understand that we can never end. But, hearing it from the mouth of the Almighty is so comforting.

Thank you once again for mentioning Vaasudev Krishna's words, and for praying for Shayaan.

Regards,

Ayesha

surjit said...

Truthful words:
..'Thus, death is just a temporary separation between the living and the dead...
What is the point in mourning something that is inevitable?..'
I fully agree with your views.Thanks Ayesha, for sharing a wonderful poem by John Donne.
I like your wonderful blog.
God bless.

Ayesha Parveen said...

Hi Surjit,

Thank you for your highly appreciative comment.

Have a nice day and may God bless you too.

Regards,

Ayesha

deeps said...

Thank you …
Yes ma’am, that’s very true, it s not everyone’s cup of tea to be a good mother, though they technically become one.

And I agree with you that a person is complete even without being a father or mother … in fact I go a step further and say, there shouldn’t be marriages in view of children, but coz of love between the spouses…

If death is the end, I think human life is as cheap as that of an animal …

Ayesha Parveen said...

Hi Deepu,

Thank you for your beautiful reply.

I personally think that even for animals, death is not the end.

Regards,

Ayesha

റെമിസ് രഹനാസ് | Remiz Rahnas said...

When you love something more than anything else, God take it back. So that God can give them back to us in the heaven. But we really wish if they were here with us now. And that makes us sad.

Ayesha Parveen said...

Hi Remiz,

Thank you very much for visiting my blog and for leaving your comment. Do come again.

Best wishes :)

Ayesha