A choice

Have been very irregular at blogspot, I admit. Hence, no idea how many will read this post. Even then, chances are that I might get a few brickbats for writing the following, but I just have to write it:

He was an exceptionally handsome boy, and a boy with a heart of gold. Very rarely do we come across people who inspire others, heal others without expecting anything in return. He is one such, always has been.

When Ashu had first met him, he was about 10, and she 8.

His parents gave him the best education they could afford, and brought him up with good human values. He gave up his training for a certain lucrative career only because he could not adjust to what was being expected of him: to smoke, was one of them.

All along, he has been a sensitive person; both to the feelings of others as well as his own. Girls and women find him very attractive, and Sanjana met him when they were MBA students. She found in him a very 'good catch' and left no stone unturned to marry him as soon as possible. One of the many things she used in order to impress him was that she came from a family of three sisters and a brother (the brother being the youngest sibling), cleverly indicating that her parents kept on having children till that one son was born! The picture she painted was that of an unappreciated girl now grown into a woman eager to have her identity as an individual.

He was very impressed, although did not want to rush into marriage. Sanjana insisted, saying that her parents were pressurising her.

He and Sanjana got married, when he was 27, and she 25. Although they belonged to different communities (a big issue, in Indian marriages, generally-speaking), his parents supported his decision.

Is he happy in his marriage?

No.

He is miserable; although he tries his best to hide his pain from the world.

Sanjana has no time for either him or for their child. His parents live in a different city because she refuses to adjust with them in any way. When his daughter was 15 months old (the child's mother was then 32), she was sent to his parents who looked after her for 6 months.

Sanjana is a career-idol to many, including some of his relatives.

He is a man with a heart of gold, but has withdrawn himself from others because he is unable to bear the fact that he had chosen the wrong person.

Ashu knows it all even without his saying things openly, and he knows that Ashu knows.

Both he and Ashu remain silent.

Krishnam, vandey Jagatgurum

Thank you, Krishna, for being my Guru.

Thank you, Krishna, for teaching me what I need to know.

Thank you, Krishna, for sending me beautiful people and moments, each one being a medium of your teaching.

Thank you, Krishna, for whispering in my soul.

Thank you, Krishna, for erasing fear from my heart.

Thank you, Krishna, for your love and mercy.

Thank you, Krishna, for being my Destination.

Vaasudev, hold my hand..

All was dark, till your face was seen.
The light and peace that are here now
Have come from you.
O Vaasudev, you are beauty!

In every agony that I have felt
You have given comfort
And healed wounds.
O Vaasudev, you are love!

When all else fail, and
Joy and hope abandon me,
I cling on to you,
Hoping to survive.
O Vaasudev, you are life!

As your call will be heard
Making me depart from this world,
May your name be on my lips,
And, you shining in front of my eyes.

Hold my hand then, as you are holding now..
O Vaasudev, you are mine.

Success and suicide

What drives an apparently successful person to kill himself? By 'successful', I mean that by social yardsticks: money, mate, status, looks, popularity.

I feel that a person can kill himself only if he feels life is not worth living. So, inspite of havings all the trappings of success, such people are not comfortable with themselves. No amount of earthly success can guarantee happiness, if self-esteem is low.

When a person does his best and is not impatient or greedy for result, when one makes decisions based on his conscience and common-sense and does not succumb to the opinions of others, he does not kill himself.

Life is both a test and a gift. One ought to respect and cherish it.

Are Indians listening?

I shuddered as I watched on the TV, news of people killed by their kith and kin.

What were they killed for?

For marrying the people they chose for themselves.

Where did the killings take place?

In Delhi, India's capital.

I feel that as a nation, we are hypocrites. On the one hand, we claim to have a grand civilization of thousands of years, and on the other hand, we commit all kinds of atrocities possible.

In the name of upholding traditions and customs which blatantly go against basic human rights, we have stopped practising what used to be the corner-stone of Indian values, sarvo jeevay dayaa or compassion for all.

Are Indians listening?

The X-factor

Much that we do in life is of our choice, directly or indirectly. However, results are sometimes unexpected. What determines the results? Success or failure depends on a whole lot of factors, some of which cannot even be quantified, although understood. Still, something remains unexplained: the X-factor.

I call the X-factor, God.

He decides; He breaks; He makes.

He plays the tune and we dance.

The Mischief-Maker

The mischief-maker by my side
Keeps me busy the whole day..
And often I regret having no time left for myself.
No answer do I have for his flow of questions;
Thus, he defeats me.


Running all over the house,
My mischief-maker
Makes noise, breaks things
And comes and hugs me
So that I do not scold him!


For all the trouble, and all the worry
I am glad; because my house
Has at last become
A home,
Thanks to my mischief-maker.

Yashoda's mischief-maker has sent my one to me;
To fill my life with joy.
Hence, in my little one's hug and his laughter
I feel Yashodanandan's healing touch,
And can hear the flute once more.