soul-talk

The legacy

2010-10-15T04:05:00.000-07:00

Most parents want the best for their children and would do all in their power to protect and nurture them. However, how much can we do? We can give them the best formal education we can afford, save money for them and pray to God to bless them.

Is that enough? No matter how hard we try to make our children's lives trouble-free, we all know that no one's life can be such. Problems and pain will come inevitably. What we as parents should do about this is to speak openly to them about this reality. Then, they need to feel that they will be able to deal with difficulties. Parents should demonstrate that they have faith in their children. Moreover, children need to be taught that it is okay not to be able to achieve all that we aim for or desire. Stress needs to be put on being just, even if it does not bring material success. Once, they are comfortable with the occasional failure or disappointment in life, they will be happy and emotionally strong enough to deal with travails.

Finally, children should be given the good news of a dear friend watching over them and us all the time. That friend, God, can be called by any name. But children, like adults, need to communicate with Him.

I think, this is the best legacy we can leave for our children.

A choice

2010-09-25T10:05:00.000-07:00

Have been very irregular at blogspot, I admit. Hence, no idea how many will read this post. Even then, chances are that I might get a few brickbats for writing the following, but I just have to write it:

He was an exceptionally handsome boy, and a boy with a heart of gold. Very rarely do we come across people who inspire others, heal others without expecting anything in return. He is one such, always has been.

When Ashu had first met him, he was about 10, and she 8.

His parents gave him the best education they could afford, and brought him up with good human values. He gave up his training for a certain lucrative career only because he could not adjust to what was being expected of him: to smoke, was one of them.

All along, he has been a sensitive person; both to the feelings of others as well as his own. Girls and women find him very attractive, and Sanjana met him when they were MBA students. She found in him a very 'good catch' and left no stone unturned to marry him as soon as possible. One of the many things she used in order to impress him was that she came from a family of three sisters and a brother (the brother being the youngest sibling), cleverly indicating that her parents kept on having children till that one son was born! The picture she painted was that of an unappreciated girl now grown into a woman eager to have her identity as an individual.

He was very impressed, although did not want to rush into marriage. Sanjana insisted, saying that her parents were pressurising her.

He and Sanjana got married, when he was 27, and she 25. Although they belonged to different communities (a big issue, in Indian marriages, generally-speaking), his parents supported his decision.

Is he happy in his marriage?

No.

He is miserable; although he tries his best to hide his pain from the world.

Sanjana has no time for either him or for their child. His parents live in a different city because she refuses to adjust with them in any way. When his daughter was 15 months old (the child's mother was then 32), she was sent to his parents who looked after her for 6 months.

Sanjana is a career-idol to many, including some of his relatives.

He is a man with a heart of gold, but has withdrawn himself from others because he is unable to bear the fact that he had chosen the wrong person.

Ashu knows it all even without his saying things openly, and he knows that Ashu knows.

Both he and Ashu remain silent.

Krishnam, vandey Jagatgurum

2010-09-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Krishna, for being my Guru.

Thank you, Krishna, for teaching me what I need to know.

Thank you, Krishna, for sending me beautiful people and moments, each one being a medium of your teaching.

Thank you, Krishna, for whispering in my soul.

Thank you, Krishna, for erasing fear from my heart.

Thank you, Krishna, for your love and mercy.

Thank you, Krishna, for being my Destination.

Vaasudev, hold my hand..

2010-09-01T11:34:00.001-07:00

All was dark, till your face was seen.
The light and peace that are here now
Have come from you.
O Vaasudev, you are beauty!

In every agony that I have felt
You have given comfort
And healed wounds.
O Vaasudev, you are love!

When all else fail, and
Joy and hope abandon me,
I cling on to you,
Hoping to survive.
O Vaasudev, you are life!

As your call will be heard
Making me depart from this world,
May your name be on my lips,
And, you shining in front of my eyes.

Hold my hand then, as you are holding now..
O Vaasudev, you are mine.

Success and suicide

2010-06-29T00:47:00.000-07:00

What drives an apparently successful person to kill himself? By 'successful', I mean that by social yardsticks: money, mate, status, looks, popularity.

I feel that a person can kill himself only if he feels life is not worth living. So, inspite of havings all the trappings of success, such people are not comfortable with themselves. No amount of earthly success can guarantee happiness, if self-esteem is low.

When a person does his best and is not impatient or greedy for result, when one makes decisions based on his conscience and common-sense and does not succumb to the opinions of others, he does not kill himself.

Life is both a test and a gift. One ought to respect and cherish it.

Are Indians listening?

2010-06-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

I shuddered as I watched on the TV, news of people killed by their kith and kin.

What were they killed for?

For marrying the people they chose for themselves.

Where did the killings take place?

In Delhi, India's capital.

I feel that as a nation, we are hypocrites. On the one hand, we claim to have a grand civilization of thousands of years, and on the other hand, we commit all kinds of atrocities possible.

In the name of upholding traditions and customs which blatantly go against basic human rights, we have stopped practising what used to be the corner-stone of Indian values, sarvo jeevay dayaa or compassion for all.

Are Indians listening?

The X-factor

2010-06-26T04:27:00.000-07:00

Much that we do in life is of our choice, directly or indirectly. However, results are sometimes unexpected. What determines the results? Success or failure depends on a whole lot of factors, some of which cannot even be quantified, although understood. Still, something remains unexplained: the X-factor.

I call the X-factor, God.

He decides; He breaks; He makes.

He plays the tune and we dance.

The Mischief-Maker

2010-05-28T02:04:00.000-07:00

The mischief-maker by my side
Keeps me busy the whole day..
And often I regret having no time left for myself.
No answer do I have for his flow of questions;
Thus, he defeats me.

Running all over the house,
My mischief-maker
Makes noise, breaks things
And comes and hugs me
So that I do not scold him!

For all the trouble, and all the worry
I am glad; because my house
Has at last become
A home,
Thanks to my mischief-maker.

Yashoda's mischief-maker has sent my one to me;
To fill my life with joy.
Hence, in my little one's hug and his laughter
I feel Yashodanandan's healing touch,
And can hear the flute once more.

The wind played with her long, dark hair..

2010-02-28T20:51:00.000-08:00

Walking away one day from all that is mundane,

She stopped to soak in a moment of silence.

Looking at the glorious setting sun,

And letting the wind play with her long, dark hair,

She rested.

No thought did she let bother her

Nor worry about the next day,

As for the moment, she was her own,

Enjoying every breath she took

While the wind played with her long, dark hair.

(A tribute to womanhood)

The moon running..

2010-02-26T00:59:00.000-08:00

No answer could I give

My little one,

When he pointed out with wonder

The moon running in the sky

Just like the car in which he was!

His wonder made me trust

The deep joy of childhood

Which I had thought was lost to me

For good.

Nothing is lost if there is joy

In heart, for

Joy pure proves there is love and faith in the soul.

My child is a sign of God being by my side,

And my fragmented life

Is once more whole.

This night..

2010-02-25T11:29:00.000-08:00

This night is

A time to rest, a time to heal.

This night as

I organise my thoughts and

Dreams, and gently pull out the shards of glass

From the soul,

I know that tomorrow the sun will rise again

With new travails, and new hopes.

This night is

A time to share, a time to pray,

For I know not if tomorrow's sure sun

These eyes of mine will see.

The Last Days

2010-02-14T22:43:00.000-08:00

Walking down memory lane one day

Since I know my days are numbers,

I asked myself if the balance sheet

Satisfied me.

No, it didn't give me contentment,

As we are trained to look only for joy

Forgetting to accept the fact that

Sorrow is a part of this life.

Today, as I am nearer the exit,

I understand that even the rude balance sheet does not matter.

Battle-weary was I, but am so no longer

As all battles are now over.

Standing quietly in the twilight,

After giving up all that is meant to go

Sooner or later,

I am waiting to embrace rest

Without the terror of battles anymore.

Call me an escapist, if you so wish;

But I am what I am, and my life and my death

Are my very own.

Krishna

2010-01-30T05:07:00.000-08:00

Krishna,

Your presence is felt

When my friend holds my hand,

And when my child hugs me with pure joy;

Your hand touches me

When deeds go unrewarded,

For injustice does not make me lose faith or hope.

Your healing balm is there

In every breath of wind

That plays gently with my hair let down.

Now, as I stand on the brink of a new birth,

A nascent life, full of trepidation,

Wondering if the labour, the pain, the tears,

Will bear fruit,

I cease to worry any more, for..

Krishna,

You are holding my hand

And climbing into my lap

While playing with my breeze-smothered hair

All the time.

You are in all, and all are in you,

My Krishna, o my

Krishna.

Blooming

2010-01-19T17:42:00.000-08:00

In this cold winter morning,

A little bud has decided that she will bloom,

Knowing that the chill will not last forever,

And sooner than later, spring will come.

Having being a bud for a long time now,

She is waiting to spread out her soft petals

Full of colour and fragrance.

No winter can kill a bud, for she

Has the patience to wait for the time of bloom.

A child shall show the way

2010-01-15T05:49:00.000-08:00

Walking on the steep hilly road,

With sweatdrops dripping

I almost gave up.

It was not of my choice

That I was on the road

So forbidding.

I had been politely ordered to walk

And walk, and walk.

The boss had underestimated my difficulty

In walking. It was not her fault;

She had no idea how different I am.

On the uphill climb, my little son came running to me,

Seeing me panting, and by seeing him so near me

Full of faith and natural joy,

I knew I could walk all the way.

As my son walked a few steps ahead of me,

I followed willingly, and with revived vigour.

My handicap no longer holding me back,

I remembered that years ago,

Someone had whispered to me,

"A child shall show the way."

The Fifth Sense

2010-01-14T22:16:00.000-08:00

This is not my work, but I thought it worth sharing with you.

A 65-year-old Cypriot Greek shepherd, Nicolis Loizou, was wounded on 30 December, 1957, by security forces. He was challenged twice; when he failed to answer, troops opened fire. A subsequent hospital examination showed that the man was deaf.

Lamps burn all night
Here, where people must be watched and seen,
And I, a shepherd, Nicolis Loizou,
Wish for the dark, for I have been
Sure-footed in the dark, but now my sight
Stumbles among these beds, scattered white boulders,
As I lean towards my far slumbering house
With the night slumbering upon my shoulders.

My sight was always good,
Better than others, I could taste wine and bread
And name the field they spattered when the harvest
Broke, I could coil in the red
Scent of the fox out of a maze of wood
And grass. I could touch mist. I could touch breath.
But of my sharp senses I had only four.
The fifth one pinned me to my death.

The soldiers must have called
The word they needed: Halt. Not hearing it,
I was their failure, relaxed against the winter
Sky, the flag of their defeat.
With their five senses they could not have told
That I lacked one, and so they had to shoot.
They would fire at a rainbow if it had
A colour less than they were taught.

Christ said that when one sheep
Was lost, the rest meant nothing any more.
Here in this hospital, where others' breathing
Swings like a lantern in the polished floor
And squeezes those who cannot sleep,
I see how precious each thing is, how dear,
For I may never touch, smell, taste or see
Again, because I could not hear.
(From, Collected Poems by Patricia Beer, published by Carcanet Press Limited in 1998)

The world is still very much the same.

Closeness: an act of love

2010-01-13T04:41:00.000-08:00

As I walk down the narrow lane

Trying to save myself from all the crowd,

Smell and touches undesired,

I feel a breath on my neck.

Yet, for the first time in the narrow lane,

Did I like to have someone so near me.

There is that one whose closeness

Makes me survive anything, anywhere;

Yes, survive even in the narrow lane.

(Dedicated to the one who makes my life worth living)

Manners?

2010-01-09T22:37:00.000-08:00

A good friend visited me a few days back. Along with her came her 7-year-old daughter. As we were sitting in the living-room, the child got up and started roaming around the place. I thought she was getting restless sitting for long, and wanted to stretch her legs.

After about 10 minutes I heeded towards the kitchen to check if the domestic-maid had prepared the snacks and the tea for the guests. As I crossed my bedroom, I happened to glance inside and what I saw irritated me.

The child was at the dressing-table, had opened the drawer and was using my comb!

When we were children, our parents, grandparents and teachers had taught us never to touch things that did not belong to us. They had said that manners are important in life.

The Healing

2010-01-09T06:43:00.000-08:00

Toiling hard each day of this life

Or living in doubt or pain or despair

One gets tired.

Tired to work; tired to laugh;

Tired to breathe.

With every bone aching

And every tear fallen,

What is left?

Is there anything that can heal

This broken being?

Leaving all that hurts..

Oh, there is so much that does!

And, no longer trying to control life,

She surrenders, to the one

Who holds the thread running through all.

You and I, my dearest

2009-09-24T22:40:00.001-07:00

Beyond all wrong, I meet you;

For you wash away my sins.

Beyond any desire to work for gain, I touch you;

For, I am tired of doing so much.

You are there for me, right beside me.

I know because I feel you in something

Finer than breath.

With you by my side, pain no longer wins;

Nor sorrow can defeat me ever again.

With you am I engaged

In the eternal dance.

And, all is bliss and all is truth.

(dedicated to my Krishna)

A Prayer

2009-09-19T07:50:00.000-07:00

There are so many who have made a difference to me,

Have added joy to my stay on earth,

Or from who I have learnt invaluable lessons on

Compassion, honesty and courage.

Some of them are gone from this place;

Yet others have moved on from my life.

A great many names forgotten or not even known to me,

Some faces have faded in my mind as well.

A heartfelt prayer today I am sending

To my Krishna:

Bless and forgive each of those whose loving touch

Has made my life beautiful;

For with all their earthly imperfections

Just like I have,

They have dared to love and tried to heal.

Krishna dear, their sincere efforts, accept with love.

Your Silence

2009-09-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

The silence I hear from you tells me

A story you hesitate to put into words;

Neither you nor I am a fool so great

As not to know the truth!

But we do fool ourselves on the outside,

Trying to justify what is happening;

As life has enfeebled us, we dare not now

Tell one another that there is love.

But never mind; for both you know and I know

That the trembling silence has

Spoken of two souls intertwined.

Trust and Healing

2009-09-16T02:29:00.000-07:00

Why is it that when in pain due to the cruel or indifferent behaviour of others, we look for comfort in the companionship of someone we trust? It is because, it is human nature to trust and love. If someone has hurt us, someone else will appear and he/she will help us heal. Such is life. Such is the power of love.

May healing and love wash away all pain that any reader of this post might be feeling.

Araafat: the mountain of light

2009-09-11T01:43:00.000-07:00

My little boy I know not what I can do for you

As not much of life is in my control.

But, there is something that I can give you, always

Without fail, without having to explain to anyone;

In all your innocence and faith, you know what that something is:

My unending love for you.

Every time you run to me and give me a hug,

I feel an overflowing of all that is true and beautiful.

In my love for you my faith has grown

And I know that you will be taken care of by Him

Who has sent you to me.

My little boy, my bundle of joy,

Live long, be happy and true.

Parents playing God, should be careful

2009-09-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

Some parents are unbelievably cruel to their children and do their best to scar the little ones' psyche. Their excuse? "Parents need to discipline their children."! Some parents grin and applause every outrageous deed done by their children. Their excuse? "Children need their parents' support."!

If only parents are conscienteous people, the world would be a better place. Too much damage is done during childhood. Very few people are able to overcome the wrong patterns set upon their lives by their parents. They are the rare souls, who are directly connected to divinity. Most others just succumb to the messages of abuse or unfair advantage, given them by their parents.

Are parents listening?

All

2009-08-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

Krishna is all I have, and in having Krishna, I have all.

Words evade me now as I stay in joy, beyond loss.

No fall, no ridicule, no rejection, no hurt

Can break me now..

For, by loving Krishna, I have conquered all.

20 August

2009-08-20T06:39:00.000-07:00

As we talk, there is joy and love

Beyond words to express.

Once more I feel God's touch, and

My heart is healed.

Dearest, you thanked me today...

But how can I thank you?

No word, no deed, no gift,

Would be enough!

O, what do I do?

Beyond the applause

2009-08-20T05:32:00.000-07:00

Often the ones who get the applause deserve it the least and the sincere, honest person's contribution is very 'conveniently' overlooked by the majority. Should that stop us from doing our duty and living by our conscience? I don't think it should, because the truly great soul knows how to contribute to the general good even when not a single person claps for him. A great mind belongs to that man or woman who knows his calling and, regardless of the ridicule or the negligence from others, finds joy within his/her heart.

No one claps when the sun rises, but that does not stop the sun from spreading life-giving warmth and light for the whole world.

Two loves has she

2009-07-31T10:12:00.000-07:00

Two loves has she in her pure heart,

Even as the world laughs at her

Calling her names.

Refusing to give up either,

She nurtures both within her soul;

Her two loves

Are connected.

When she sees him the first time in this life,

She knows he is the one,

Then, gradually, He manifests Himself through him

For, he is forever in her due to His grace.

Two loves has she in her grateful life

And her heart and soul are at rest.

(Dedicated to Manojini, a woman I know well)

Space: a mark of respect

2009-07-31T05:19:00.000-07:00

Giving space in a relationship, marriage or otherwise, is vital for the healthy life of it. Unfortunately, not all people want to understand that space is important for the constant growth of a person, and hence, if space is compromised, the individual feels trapped in the relationship.

We would obviously want our loved ones to be happy and be happy ourselves. So, if we are encroaching on their personal time, dictating terms to them at every chance, we are not much bothered about their happiness. If we do not care about them, we do not respect them. And, with no respect in the relationship, love ceases to exist between partners.

Let us give space to our dear ones as well as firmly but gently ask for it ourselves when needed. Let us stay happy.

The floodgates have opened!

2009-07-29T10:50:00.000-07:00

The floodgates of joy have opened

And I am washed with hope and love.

Since all things mundane, being broken down,

Have been swept out for good,

There is room now for peace and acceptance.

The waves of bliss carry me away,

Madly, but gently

To the faraway land I had glimpsed

Many a time, through the tears of heart-break.

Letting go of those who were never mine,

I have moved on, for the floodgates of my life

Have opened and washed clean am I, at last.

Released, at last

2009-07-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

This world is a torture-house

With just glimpses of happiness.

So, what can one do when he is trapped

In this normally abnormal place?

Taking one day at a time,

And holding fast to faith and hope,

He reaches the end of his prison days

To reunite, at last, with his long-waiting beloved.

She sees her Destiny

2009-07-21T22:38:00.000-07:00

Closing her eyes, tired after yet another day

Full of struggles and despair,

She falls asleep, not keen to wake up again.

But, tonight is different for her;

Tonight is destiny, for all her pain is washed away,

As, towards dawn, she sees in her dream,

Talking to her like never before,

Her cherished Fate.

Her dream is reality, greater than all else.

Absorption

2009-07-21T06:19:00.000-07:00

The last walk across the beach they took

Before parting for a long, long time;

In the blue and white of moon and night,

Neither of them wanted to unclasp hands

But they had to, as time was running out.

A fleeting glance, that took in all

While moving on each one's way,

Remained etched in their hearts.

It was the nectar they would thrive on

Till they met again.

The real courage

2009-07-19T04:40:00.000-07:00

The courage, to listen to the voice that always speaks the truth, is mostly lacking in people. That voice is that of conscience. It is conscience which tells us right from wrong, truth from falsehood. However, one needs to be really brave to follow that voice because if we choose to do so, we will inevitably meet with rejection and humiliation from the world at large. If not for life, then at least for a number of years will we have to deal with this pain. The classic example is Jesus Christ. The hypocrites all play the game of convention, pretending to be socially-wonderful. And, they get the results too: applause for what they have not contributed, but in their hearts, they tremble all along the journey of life, afraid that sooner or later the truth about them will get exposed. It usually does. What does the person, who listens to the voice, get in the long run? He/she leads a life of inner contentment and when death comes, happily leaves the world joyfully anticipating a reunion with the Lord.

The Joy of Sunset

2009-07-16T06:57:00.000-07:00

The happy days were over for him

And the cruel ones had come;

Watching the sunset from his room

He wondered why life had changed such

For he had done none harm!

Since he could not change the change

He decided that it was not for him to ask

Questions whose answers were not given.

But somewhere within his heart

The man knew that only the temporary alters;

And knowing this, he stopped grieving

For those who had faked love for gain.

That done, he found happiness again;

Finally, he tasted peaceful joy, in himself.

She is different

2009-07-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

Home is what she craved for

Right from her early childhood;

Parents and others were all around her,

Yet, for her, it was not home.

What she received, she was asked to be happy about.

Although not ungrateful for the food and shelter,

She felt there was something fake

In the relationships.

Was it a particular case of lack of love in her family,

Or is that the way of the world?

She is different; and grew up nurturing her soul,

Much to the chagrin of those around.

She is different, and is happy for her choice.

Bloom, even if there is apparently none to appreciate you, because there is someone who appreciates your efforts and loves you. That someone usually stays invisible to the world but observes you all the time. Bloom for Him.

The bloodless revolution in my life

2009-07-06T22:20:00.000-07:00

Today I complete 365 days of being a vegetarian. A very happy anniversary for me because it has been a life-altering decision in my case and good things have happened to me over the last one year. My health is much better and I no longer need to take vitamin pills. There is greater peace of mind and a better sense of acceptance in me. Other blessings have come along the way, too.

I have been laughed at for my choice but I have held on to living my life based on my convictions.

If we can live without shedding blood, why kill animals? How about living healthy and letting the helpless animals live? I personally think that killing and tearing are meant for wild animals, and not for human beings.

The journey and the call

2009-07-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

Down the road she walked

Talking to herself all along;

She spoke of what she was seeing

And learning on her walk.

There was much noise around her

For each passer-by was in a hurry

And shouting in his own way.

The girl was disturbed, yet,

Continued with her journey

For she knew only that.

Amidst all the din

She heard it clear, without a doubt,

A voice calling her; she was so sure.

The girl quietened down her chatter,

Hearing again, this time, clearer, the call.

The unknown voice seemed so dear to her

And pulled her like the greatest bond.

Her hidden chains broke away from her;

She was free, free at last,

As she chose to follow the call.

Wisely, O Gentle Heart

2009-07-04T22:45:00.000-07:00

From the day the infant opens his eyes to the world

He starts to know what life is;

As the infant becomes a child, a man

Sometimes he is overwhelmed by what he sees.

Much of pain and some joy, and

Too much of confusion and doubts

He has to live through, fighting a lonely battle

Surrounded by many a smiling, jeering faces.

His gentle heart becomes timid

And, afraid to love again

He goes into a shell....

Wisely, O Gentle Heart,

Choose what you wish to keep,

For all are not the same;

The ones that hurt you are best forgotten.

Wisely, O Gentle Heart,

Try to love again.

The Question

2009-07-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

The life-partner gets the name, the children;

She seems so full of all the bounties of life;

Yet, what happens if there is no love in the union?

How much of a marriage does it stay?

Sometime, somewhere, the soul-mate comes

Quietly, with an eternity's love for him.

Her eyes are full of light.

Who should win: the one who has so much to show,

Or the one who has surrendered her all

Asking for nothing in return?

(A poem on a man's experience of a fake, hollow marriage and his encounter with his one true love. In no way does the poem advocate marital infidelity)

The cleansing: an act of surrender

2009-07-01T23:29:00.000-07:00

Looking out the window I see the downpour

Washing clean the trees and the grass;

Even the dogs are elated to feel water

After the scorching heat of days.

The soothing white sheet unfolds

As the clouds are free of their burden.

Life all around me is joyous

Because of the chance to rejuvenate,

I decide to let go of all that holds me down..

And surrender to the cleansing rain.

Cleaning my body and mind

I turn inwards to touch myself

And find the temple has already been cleansed

By the living God,

Who resides in me, Who resides in you,

And Who is there

In the burning sun and in the drops of rain.

"Tvamaeva sarvam, ma ma daeva daeva"

The little things of life

2009-07-01T19:14:00.000-07:00

The little things of life all add up

To give the full experience

And we learn to build or to break,

Based on what we choose to have.

Small acts are not small at all

For they hurt us or they heal wounds.

A small word is often an act of love

Or a stab of pain.

A soft smile on the parting lips

Or a hand reaching out

To hold,

When many just go by without a glance,

Often make us know life,

And, we dare live again.

The balancing act and beyond..

2009-07-01T06:22:00.000-07:00

A dear friend of mine tells me that he does not like my writing on sad themes. He insists that I should write only on the brighter side of life. Not one to dwell always on the murky or hopeless side of life, I find his criticism unfair because life is not an only-happy experience for anyone.

If we are continually running away from the pain that life keeps on throwing at us, it depicts an unrealistic, escapist's attitude. The sorrow that we face needs to be acknowledged as much as joy needs to be accepted with gratitude. Each person, in order to stay 'emotionally sane', needs to do the balancing act between his reactions to grief and pleasure; otherwise, overcome by pain, he might lose all faith in himself, in humanity and in God. Or, expecting life to be always wonderful, he might become depressed to the extent of having suicidal thoughts.

Once the balance is reached, one tastes what I would call true joy. This happiness is not tied to the circumstances of life which we have to deal with. The true joy comes when we see beyond the mundane pleasures and gains on one hand and unfair hurts hurled at us. This peace come only when we learn to trust the grand universal plan unfolding every moment.

Doing the balancing act is easier said than done, I admit. However, should we at least not try to discover the 'kingdom of heaven' within us?

To Be Done

2009-06-28T01:29:00.000-07:00

As duty calls and my work is yet to be done,

I am returning to the world of cares,

A place where the race takes place

With all the sidekicks possible.

Not that I care much for what comes now

As my part is in doing my job

Taking one day at a time, one step at a time,

Like a trusting child, like a bruised old woman.

So tired am I today that I yearn to sleep

But rest runs away for now;

The broken fragments all picked up again,

I move on in the battle of life.

Come what may, the work is there

To be done.

The Final Desire

2009-06-24T04:11:00.000-07:00

All experiences that touch the soul with true happiness are signs of eternity and have beautiful parts to play in our consciousness. Often, I have had the sinking feeling of losing a cherished person or experience. However, at the say time, a 'never-say-die' voice in me has told me to be patient and not to give up hope. When I look at my life I see that people, who, apparently, were lost to me, have come back. Relationships have been restored. I have healed. What about those that are over for good? They were not meant to be and their short stay has taught me to let go of the undeserved/ undeserving.

My life has taught me to look beyond life. When I move on from the stage of this mostly-tragic drama of life, I move on with a burning desire in me and I know in my soul that my ultimate dream too will become reality. I hope to get Him who is called by various names. I call Him Vaasudev Krishna and my dream is to hold His hands and dance as best friends. And all the others who are dear to me will also be present there for my Vaasudev sustains us all with only a fraction of His infinite energy. I, inspite of all my imperfections, have full faith in His mercy and grace.

My Devam, my very own

2009-06-07T23:45:00.000-07:00

Devam wanted to come over to my place;
I had no place in my dilapidated hut;
But I love him and yearned to see him...
Devam is my very own and I told him the truth.
He being who he is, understood;
And, I was asked to come to heaven...
To see him.
Devam held my hand as I crossed the threshold
And his home has become my home.
Such is my Devam, my very own.

The Shelter

2009-05-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/prerna231/message/21405

The cyclone hit the garden and the leaf was torn

And was carried by the ruthless wind,

Far away from the leaf's home.

As she tried to resist, knowing how useless it was,

She wept for her friends lost: other leaves, flowers and birds.

Why was she cruelly torn away from the place she loved?

Oh, why were her friends all taken away?

No one answered her questions as she was tossed

From here to there, by the cruel wind.

Was there no place where she could rest?

Was there none to give her refuge?

She felt that she was about to die, her dreams dying with her.

Amidst all the roaring of the wind,

She dared open her eyes, and saw closed doors in front.

Feeling all hope was lost, she cried out, a piteous cry;

And, the door opened with the wind pushing against it;

The leaf shut her eyes as she was carried in.

No longer having the strength to cry,

She opened her eyes once more

Even as the wind dropped her and she came to rest,

And saw the beauty of the place.

The trembling leaf looked up

And saw the golden dress, the smiling face.
The torn leaf, the homeless leaf
Had found shelter at the feet of Vaasudev.

( jag se aankhe band kare to, Surdas ne dars(n) kiye )

(only after Surdas lost his earthly eyes, did he see the Lord)

I am taking a break from blogging; will be back in July, Krishna-willing.

May you stay happy and in good health.

The Choice

2009-05-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

They say that I should not be independent;

Like themselves they want me to crawl.

I am lectured by them that every act of mine is wrong,

When all I do is follow the inner voice I hear in me.

They come in various names and

Under the guise of some relationships;

But each one of them is what I call

Defeat-incarnate, and they try to enfeeble me.

Much have I cried while fighting them

And now the tears have all dried up;

The defeatists are still there, talking foul

But I have shut my ears to them,

As I hear now, only what I choose to hear:

Words of love and words of truth

Etched in this soul eternal.

Holding On To Faith

2009-05-23T22:31:00.000-07:00

As I look at this drama called life

Trying to make sense of all the chaos,

I see that life goes on, and there is joy too.

If there come hurt and betrayal from some

Who I had thought were my friends,

Some others come along to heal my heart

And I feel whole again.

This losing and this gaining have taught me

To hold on to dear faith;

If on one side we are robbed,

On the other side is God's grace.

There is nothing called the final goodbye

2009-05-21T04:36:00.000-07:00

Often people feel that death snatches away their dear ones. This becomes one of the reasons why some people are afraid of deep emotional attachments. If being born is something natural, so is death. What is the point in mourning something that is inevitable?

Yet people cry when someone dear to them dies. I cried when my mother passed away. Once more, death made me cry when I saw my former-student, Shayaan's body in the coffin. We cry primarily because with death we lose tangible contact with the departed and we think we will not be able to share our feelings and experiences with him or her ever again. Then we cry because we feel the departed person did not get enough of this life.

Yes, it hurts to be separated by death, but I personally believe that there is a joyous reunion beyond this life. The supreme mastermind of the universe is kind; He would not play any cruel game with anyone. Thus, death is just a temporary separation between the living and the dead. If this life is unfair to a person, he gets compensation in the hereafter. Those who love always have faith and their faith manifests as reality.

(This post is dedicated to the memory of Shayaan Chowdhury who passed away on 24 May 2008. It was a cruel experience for me to see my former-student's lifeless body. The photo at the top of the post, is Shayaan's.)

(The views expressed in this post are my own and I have no intention here to propagate or denounce any school of thought on death, religious or otherwise.)

Quoting the poem, Death Be Not Proud, by John Donne:

Death be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,

For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,

Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill mee.

From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,

Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,

Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.

Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,

And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,

And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,

And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

And, it stopped burning

2009-05-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

The page torn away from the painting-book,

Was in my hand and I was burning it;

As the paper was in flames and I, in tears

Something happened and, the page stopped burning.

Torn and half-burnt, it has survived,

To tell a tale of love and woe;

The page asks me if love is all woe,

How did it survive the scorching flames!

No answer have I to the question asked;

And in my silence the page found victory;

Sheer joy it is to be in love,

And it is love in us that survives all.

How much can a parent do?

2009-05-13T08:37:00.000-07:00

Usually when a child is born, his parents are filled with joy and it seems that they would do almost anything to save the child from the trials of life. However, even with the most well-meaning of parents, situations can arise where they can do little to help their child. In spite of their best efforts to protect him, he has to go through much hardship and pain in life, and the parents become helpless witnesses to the agony.

What is a parent to do then? Does he accept it as the result of the child's previous lives' karma? Does he bear it as an exceptional test by God? Whatever his philosophy of life, seeing his child suffer is usually unbearable for a good parent.

The only thing a parent can do in such a case, is, in my opinion, give extra love and attention to his child. It is through love that even the unbearable is tolerated with a little less pain.

Hiding his own tears, a parent has to smile for his child.

The significance of a birthday

2009-05-11T06:52:00.000-07:00

A birthday is an occasion to celebrate because it marks the day of someone's entry in this world. Family and friends usually throw a birthday-party to show how much the person is loved and appreciated by them.

The person whose birthday it is, looks upon the day depending on how old he becomes. If he is a child, the birthday means more toys. If a young teenager, he feels happy to be nearing adulthood and what he considers to be freedom. For a middle-aged person, the birthday is a time to introspect and evaluate his life. If the person happens to be a senior citizen, he probably looks back at life with all his achievements and disappointments, and is usually able to look beyond the hurt and pain and see the hand of God in all that happens.

Today is the birthday of someone very dear to me and I hope God gives him peace and joy. My friend, whose birthday it is today, deserves all the happiness in the world. The cake above is eggless, since both my friend and I are vegetarians. All my blogger-friends are being requested to help themselves to a piece each :)

"Happy Birthday to....."

Dated: 12 May, 2009

Will I dare?

2009-05-10T22:45:00.000-07:00

"Looking into myself I see

A great void where once joy lived;

With every step I took to become a success

I ended up losing my very own.

The time has come and

Dear, dear life is calling me, once more.

Will I give her a chance to own me

And fill me with joy?

Will I dare let me be myself? "

(The question someone is asking...)

The River Gushing Forth

2009-05-09T05:37:00.000-07:00

All the boulders near the river,

Cannot stop it from gushing forth;

How is it possible for the world

To stop love from being love?

The risk of being hurt on the rocks

Hinders not the one who ventures

On the mighty river full of foam:

The call is clear and he responds.

The river and the rocks together

Tell the story of love perennial;

What happens is bound to happen:

True love gives life to the soul.

The Child's Question

2009-05-08T22:46:00.000-07:00

The little child asks herself why she was born

To a mother who has no love for her;

She has a friend in her doting father,

But he is busy working all the time.

The little child needs someone to play with,

But there is no one to listen to her;

She waits for her grandparents to come

From a city far, far away.

The little child knows not why

She has been left all alone;

Not a soul has the courage or time

To answer her innocent question.

A breath of fresh air

2009-05-07T03:04:00.000-07:00

"The unnamed relationship in my life

Caught me unawares and I found out

How hollow the life I was leading;

She came, but had no place in my world.

Yet I could not shut her out,

Not turn a deaf ear to her words

Spoken and unuttered as well,

Nor be blind to her joy in me.

In my set life with all its success,

I was choking, dying in my soul;

Her unstated love, her quiet surrender,

Is a breath of fresh air; and I let her be in me. "

(The words are of my choice but the experience is of a dear friend.)

Love Will Triumph Over All

2009-04-25T07:09:00.000-07:00

It is bound to happen, I know;

Yet, I cry when you test my patience.

Life has come a full circle for me,

But the conclusion is pending yet.

Waiting with much joy in my soul

And some anguish in my human heart,

I ask today, to the one dearest to me

Why need I go through even more?

My word and your silence today,

Together walk, side by side;
A time will come when both will fade,
And love will triumph over all.

Flowers at His feet

2009-04-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

She was living with her widowed, ailing mother and earned some money by selling garlands and flowers near the temple of Krishna, in Chittagong. Although young and impoverished, she did not have many desires for herself. There was, however, one cherished dream in her heart.

No matter how much she needed the little money her garlands and flowers brought for her, she never forgot to offer some fresh flowers at the feet of the idol of Krishna, each morning, as soon as the temple gates opened for the public. It was only then that she started selling. Affectionately, she called Him "Vaasudev". With Him she talked each day, adoring Him, asking His help in taking care of her mother, and always begging Him to keep her long-lost childhood friend, Manoj, happy. This ten-year old boy, as he was when they got separated, was her secret, cherished dream.

One night, her Vaasudev came to her in a dream. She saw him, in all His splendour and beauty, walking in a palace. As she called out to Him, "Vaasudev! Vaasudev!", He came to her even before she could run towards Him. He had a beautiful smile on His face and they met as close friends. Vaasudev assured her that He was always by her side. When finally He started walking again towards the palace, she knew she did not have much time to express herself and uttered the word, "Manoj". Vaasudev smiled and the flower-girl woke up.

Having full faith in Vaasudev, she knew that her Manoj was safe. She was happy because in her heart, her belief whispered to her that Manoj was in good hands, Vaasudev's hands, entrusted by her. Within two years of seeing Vaasudev Krishna in the dream, she heard from Manoj and their lives turned into a series of beautiful, joyous happenings.

The Beauty Of This Day

2009-04-18T16:30:00.000-07:00

This day is full of love and peace

As my heart overflows with joy;

For things that I have learnt on my way,

I see the meaning of it all.

This day reminds me that truth remains

And kindness is a gift for all;

In spite of some pain and confusion

Love remains, and happiness heals the heart.

( Dedicating this small poem, which happens to be my post #100, to all my dear ones.)

Remembering my mother

2009-04-18T02:10:00.000-07:00

My mother is no more by my side;

Then why do I still feel her love?

We are taught that no one returns

From the land of the dead!

But even in going to that land,

Some keep on touching us

Just to let us know that love remains,

Beyond this veil of life,

And nothing that is good and true is lost.

Joy, Lost and Found

2009-04-18T01:52:00.000-07:00

Searching for joy at all places,

I grew tired and longed for rest;

The struggles and woes of day to day

Took me captive and I lost my way.

Then someone whispered in my ears

The magic words for me:

"Search well, this time,within you."

Yes, I found my joy, at last,

Deep within me, resting, in my soul.

Moving On

2009-04-17T05:03:00.000-07:00

A few days back I consulted a childhood-friend about a situation. The way she reacted was a shock for me. Under the guise of being realistic, she used the meanest and nastiest words possible. It was obvious that she saw in my case something which was missing in her life and she chose to react the wrong way.

No one has everything and it is only decent and sensible to accept this fact. If someone decides to be negative towards us, that too in a way that would hurt us the most, it is better to move on. This friend and I were very close for years and even when the distance between us started to grow, I had closed my eyes to it. However, now I have decided to move on. Wishing her the best in her life, I am emotionally distancing myself from her.

This moment is a new beginning in my life.

The Resurrection

2009-04-11T17:47:00.001-07:00

Easter Sunday celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ. On this day, Christ rose from the dead and talked to some of his followers.

At a non-denominational spiritual level, the resurrection can be said to be a symbol of undying hope and faith. God in His grace, sees to it that no undue pain goes unrewarded. Each one of us has to deal with pain and betrayal. Let God give us the faith in our hearts that He will lift us up from the pain into deep joy and peace.

From terror to peace, from pain to joy, from death to eternal life, may the Almighty God walk with us. Amen.

A Celebration of Love

2009-04-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Every now and then I reach out to you

Wanting to feel your loving hand;

To some, I appear a fool, perhaps,

But I neither live nor die without you.

The smiling eyes, the touching words,

Have all stayed within my soul;

If today, you seem like snow, my love,

Turn to life-giving water, once more.

The beauty of my life has been

In loving you and celebrating love;

Hold my hand, once more, my love,

For that is all I want; my cosmos is in you.

Thy Will be done

2009-04-03T03:17:00.000-07:00

When in life, we are confused,

May we turn to God and say:

'Thy Will be done.'

If we suffer heart-breaks and

Know not the reasons,

It helps if we cry out to Him:

'Thy Will be done.'

Every day of this life, may we

Walk with Him and see His Hand

Equally there in joy and pain;

In death as much as in life,

May we have the faith to say with trust:

'My kindest Lord and dearest Friend,

Thy Will be done.'

(The line, "Thy Will be done", is from the traditional Christian prayer popularly called The Lord's Prayer)

The urgent email

2009-03-10T06:48:00.000-07:00

The Director of Academics of a certain school had sent an extremely important and urgent email to the sports’ coordinator of the school who saw the content and decided that the games teacher (games falls under co-curricular activities ) needed to know about the matter.

The games teacher was a person who never used a computer and thus, had no internet ID. The coordinator, in an inexplicable moment of decision, had the email printed out and put the hard-copy inside the first-aid kit which the games teacher took to the cricket field every day. He never bothered to make a phone call to the teacher to tell him about it.

Two days later, when the Director asks the coordinator why he hadn’t looked into the urgent matter, the games teacher is called. In the presence of all three, the first-aid box is opened and the very urgent mail is retrieved!

Generations ago, love-letters would be delivered in a similar manner, resulting in sometimes hilarious and sometimes disastrous consequences. Circumstances and times change, but the drama of life remains the same.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

Now

2009-03-10T03:28:00.000-07:00

Going through the land of trials,
As all alone I stand and reach out
Crying for help, and in pain,
There is none to respond to my screams.

If this is what life is all about,
Then death is what I would prefer;
How is it that I cannot kill myself,
Even when every part in me breaks apart?

The silent sobs have quietened down
As I am tired and all vacant inside…
But, yet again the pain starts
And the remembrance and the fear come back.

With pain behind and fear ahead,
I have no answer for myself;
But somewhere, there is someone
Who makes me walk through the hell.

That someone today I call:
Be with me or I shall die;
For you have I taken every step;
Now, wash away the pain, for yours am I.

Making your own way

2009-02-27T20:52:00.000-08:00

When faced with difficulties we have options out of which we choose one. Our choice reflects our attitude to life. What is important primarily is not to make any choice in anger as the mind does not think logically when a person is angry.

The second most important thing is optimism. If we believe that problems can be solved, solutions do appear, usually. This might be partly because an optimistic person never gives up trying.

The third factor is believing in oneself. Self-confidence often makes the difference between success and failure. No matter what others say, if you believe in a cause sincerely or have a dream, hold it very close to your heart. The very act that you respect your ambition or dream, will help you in realizing it.

The use of ethical means is a must when dealing with obstacles to our success. If the means are dishonest, no lasting happiness can be the result. It is better to choose failure than choosing corruption because for an honest person true success comes in the long run.

Troubles come in every person’s life. How you deal with them determines how successful you are in making your own way.

Never again, my vanished friend

2009-02-20T22:36:00.000-08:00

Walking with you, every day, side by side,
I thought you were my very own;
Your words said the same thing and I was healed
By your warmth and affection.

As we talked, every day, our souls touched;
I said to you what I have not told others
And you declared I added joy to your life.
The peace in my heart was a gift from you.

Never once did I feel that this could end,
As all good things are made eternal;
You had started the story and gave me hope
Of joy and of tenderness.

The sudden snatching away of your hand,
The unspoken breaking away from me
Has left me stabbed, my heart lacerated
As all alone I stand, once again.

Alone I was, and alone I am today;
You going away has stayed in me;
My guiding star, my healing balm,
After you, I dare not love again.

The final wish

2009-02-16T03:31:00.000-08:00

Varsha was a lonely child. Having lost her mother at birth, she had an uncaring, often cruel father, and a brother who was engrossed in his own teenage world. The eight-year –old girl was left to spend her time at home all alone. Moreover, not having known motherly love and starving to hear a kindly word from her father, Varsha often wept to herself.

One day, in their neighbourhood, a new family came and Varsha got a playmate in their daughter Tina. Tina’s mother, Mrs. Pathak was very affectionate towards Varsha and often, Varsha stayed for lunch at their place. However, it was Mr. Pathak, who soon became Varsha’s favourite. In him, the girl had found the father she had always hoped her biological father had been to her.

Mr. Pathak encouraged Varsha about her studies. When in school, she got an award for best creative-writing, the first person she told about it was Mr. Pathak. If she thought about an ideal family, she would picture in her mind the Pathaks. Even though Varsha was extremely fond of both Tina and her mother, it was Mr. Pathak who she adored. The kindly man had filled up a vacuum in her heart.

Varsha had fever every now and then. When she gathered courage to tell her father one day, after feeling nauseated, she was told that she was a weakling, and thus a pain to him. The matter ended there with Varsha not receiving any medical attention.

Time moves on and soon it was over a year that the Pathaks had moved in as Varsha’s neighbours. One day, she heard Tina and her mother crying loudly and rushed into the Pathaks’ house to find out what the matter was. Through tears in her eyes, Tina told her that Mr. Pathak had left his home and family in search of solitude and spirituality. Mrs. Pathak was inconsolable.

Varsha felt cheated. She had never thought the she would be deprived of Mr. Pathak’s fatherly affection. In her own innocence, she had trusted him emotionally.

Two months later, in a pleasant February morning, Varsha woke up with excruciating pain all over her body. She called out for help, but there was no one to hear her cries. Then she called out to Krishna for help. As gradually, her pain subsided, she could hear a soothing tune being played on flute. As she closed her eyes, Krishna appeared to her and asked her what she wanted. She was filled with peace and joy and answered that she wanted to play in His gardens and have Mr. Pathak as her father.

When a bearer came with breakfast into her room after an hour, it was discovered that Varsha would not open her eyes in this world again.

Till we meet again

2009-02-12T08:28:00.000-08:00

A very dear friend of mine says he disapproves of human attachments because with death, the loss of a dear one can cruelly hurt the ones who stay behind. I am unable to explain to him that lack of attachment hurts as well and sometimes, it hurts even more. If this life is short, why not spend it in sharing happiness and love? The beautiful memories we create with our loved ones can make life meaningful and help bear the separation caused by death.

And there is nothing called the ever-lasting separation. Since death means moving on to the next phase of the universal journey, there is, in death, always the chance of meeting again. In fact, I believe that if affection is genuine, we do meet again.

If my friend happens to read this post, I hope he will understand that beyond pain, there is always happiness. Beyond death, there is eternal life. Beyond separation, there is reunion.

The child in you

2009-02-11T02:04:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered why children forget pain and disappointments faster than adults? Perhaps, it is because they live life fully with every breath they take in. By instinct they know that each moment has something good to offer us, although, sometimes, the goodness comes disguised.

It is because children know how to trust life that they are smiling most of the time. They know that tomorrow’s answers will come tomorrow and so they concentrate on ‘today’ and ‘now’. The other important quality in children is self-trust. Although they appreciate praise and feel hurt when criticized, they do not judge themselves by the opinion of others. A child is happy to be what his heart wants.

Often, I feel that the child is dormant in each one of us. Why not rekindle the joy of child-like innocence and hope? Why not trust the process of life?

Perhaps, bygone days will not come back but lost happiness can definitely be found again. Just awaken the child in you and see the difference in your life.

Success

2009-02-10T06:50:00.000-08:00

The word, ‘success’ is one of the most appealing words in any language, for almost everyone would like to be successful. The greatest thing about success is that there can be no fixed definition of it. What might seem as success to one person might appear to be a waste of time or energy to another.

Whether it is accumulation of wealth or saving a person’s life, much effort goes into being successful. Moreover, the luck-factor also plays a part in most stories of success.

First and foremost, a person needs to decide for himself what success means for him. He may listen to the opinion and advice of well-meaning family members and friends, but ultimately, he has to take the decision and then put in his very best to turn his dream into reality.

Just like true love brings an inner glow on a person’s face, true success brings a sense of inner contentment, very different from what is understood as ego, regardless of the opinion of others. If you feel that happiness, you have tasted success.

My Beloved

2009-02-09T23:19:00.000-08:00

Looking over what is called my life
At times I have seen only fragments,
The whole was broken and filled with pain.
Today as I glance over it again,
All I see is you inspiring me all along
Through the ache and over the chasm.

It is true that life has a meaning
And everything happens for a reason.
There is peace in me and joy that will last;
I now see clearly, with darkness gone,
The reason, the meaning for me,
Is always you, only you.

Gratitude overflows

2009-02-06T01:24:00.000-08:00

As I look at my life I can see so much of love and gifts that I continue receiving. There is also much of pain and unfulfillment. So, what is my stand towards my happiness-ratio in life? I am satisfied.

For all the things I am not receiving now, I am patient, trusting God’s judgment of the right time and suitability. For the deep joys and graces I continue getting from Him, I am happy to thrive on them. These prove that God listens to our cries and gives us what we need.

Whether it is joy or woe, the final message is always positive. I am feeling gratitude overflowing from my heart. God deserves thanks for all that I experience. God deserves thanks for the peace and happiness He continues to give me.

Rose and Snow

2009-01-29T09:37:00.000-08:00

Little Rose was asked by God where she would like to bloom when sent to Earth. She could choose from beautiful Garden, the side of the refreshing Stream and cold Snow. Rose wanted to know from God why Snow was so cold when Garden and Stream were friendly and spontaneous.

God told her that Snow was in the form of life-giving water and the friendliest one, a long time back. However, constant hurts and betrayals had made him wary of friendship and love and he had become cold, oh, so very cold!

Rose, full of colour, decided. She chose to bloom in Snow believing that her warmth and colour would melt him one day. God warned her gently that she would, till then, have to bear the chill of Snow. Rose said she had already made up her mind.

God was happy and blessed both Rose and Snow.

Ushering in the much awaited, the cherished

2009-01-28T07:10:00.000-08:00

What if that which you have been waiting for is knocking at your door? Won’t you rush to welcome it? Most will say, “Of course we will.” However, do we always behave with such confidence? More often than not, we develop cold feet and make excuses for our lack of courage to welcome the change or bring home the new phase of life we have been dreaming for years.

We get signs from the universe that it is about to happen. Our job is to believe in the guidance we are getting and trust that the dream will become reality. Then comes patience, in huge amounts.

If we dare to have faith in our dreams and show the courage to welcome that which we have been craving for, wonders usually happen.

Purest ray serene – love

2009-01-16T22:01:00.001-08:00

Love is, in my opinion, the most beautiful of human experiences. It is one emotion that can be felt in whatever we go through, happy or otherwise.

The feeling of love is manifested in four basic ways. The first one is that of universal love. If we can feel compassion for whoever we come across, we are expressing universal love. This is what Vaasudev Krishna means in the Bhagwad Geeta when He tells that the truly educated are ‘samadarshi’ and look upon a dog and a respectable person with equal compassion. It is this love which makes us merciful towards those who had hurt us. It was universal love that made Jesus cry out to God even as he was crucified, “Forgive them, Father; they know not what they do.”

The second type of love is what we feel for people who have made a positive difference to us. We are comfortable with them and life seems incomplete without their presence in some way or the other. These are the people from whom we receive love: usually, our friends and family. This sort of love encourages and empowers us. Such love leaves us with a warm feeling of acceptance. If a friend calls you “the purest ray serene”, can you ever forget it?

The third type of love is exclusive. It is meant for that one person who you love in a way you can love no one else. When this love happens, you understand that it is not mere infatuation or attraction. Deep in you soul, you recognize the person to be your one true love. Whether life gives you the chance to marry that person or not, does not affect your feelings. Just feeling that exclusive love for that special person makes life worth living.

The fourth manifestation of love is for the Almighty. If we can love God as our best friend and see His hand in all that happens in the world, we are endowed with a sense of peace and positive acceptance. We can deal with pain and disappointments when we feel this love which helps us to be patient and to understand that things happen for a reason. This love teaches us that death is not a loss but a moving-on to the next phase of our eternal journey.

Love, thus, is all that matters.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

Trusting Him

2009-01-16T05:21:00.000-08:00

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/prerna231/message/17265

Often in life, we feel helpless and overcome by pain and a sense of hopelessness. However, if we can trust God and turn to Him, He is there to help us. These are times when all doors seem closed for us and we do not know how we will survive the pain or difficulty we are going through.

If we open our hearts to God and trusting His power and love, ask Him to help us, help does come. Doors open and problems get solved. What had seemed impossible gradually manifests in our lives. Thus, trusting God makes personal miracles happen.

Trust God as your best friend and as the Almighty. He will be there for you in ways that you had not thought possible before.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

The Little Boy

2009-01-14T06:22:00.000-08:00

Over the last few years, I had been yearning to have a child at home. Whenever I saw a woman play with a child, I would feel an ache within me. Last December, God sent me a child, a boy of five years.

He walked in as a guest and has chosen to stay. Although he is not my son, I feel the joy of motherhood when I play with him and when he hugs me with love only children can give. Perhaps he will go one day, but the love I am sharing with him now has filled the void in my heart. And I am sure that somewhere in his pure heart, I will have a secure place, no matter where he goes.

Prayers are answered and miracles happen.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

The Silent Companion

2009-01-10T07:40:00.001-08:00

Are we ever totally alone? This is one question I used to ask myself. As a teenager, I had often gone through days when I felt totally alone and completely abandoned. Even when surrounded by family and friends, I had felt there was nobody for me in the universe. And, there was no one to whom I could say what I was going through for fear of being laughed at.

Mercifully, such agonizing thoughts assail me no longer. Even when there is no one physically by my side, I do not feel abandoned. Not that people have suddenly all become very good and kind or my troubles have evaporated completely. I have a companion now who never leaves my side. He is usually silent but I can feel him even in my pulse, for such is his personality. My companion’s presence is enough to nurture and heal me as I fight this battle called life.

If we look inside our hearts, each one of us will find a companion who never leaves us. For some of us, the companion is a soul-mate who understands, for some it is values, for some it is called love and for others, God.

Whatever name you call your silent companion, always remember he is by your side.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

Beauty

2009-01-07T23:16:00.000-08:00

The concept of beauty is intriguing. What some find attractive, some others might find repulsive. Over the ages, and across different cultures, different types are considered appealing as far as physical beauty is concerned. A certain skin-tone or a particular type of facial features is labeled more beautiful than others. This is just another name for social biases and if a person is on the wrong side of a bias, his life can become quite tough indeed. Moreover, what is in vogue now, becomes outdated very soon.

Whether in favour or not, the beauty of the body fades with time. Wrinkles appear, signaling the inevitable decay that has begun. Colouring hair to hide age does not fool anyone.

However, there is a beauty which does not decay unless we allow it to. If we are confident of ourselves, that is real beauty. When we can look back and see we have lived with honesty and compassion, that is a sure sign of beauty. Seeing God’s hand in the world of Nature and in human affairs adds to the beauty within us.

You have the beauty of the universe within you.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

The joy of giving

2009-01-01T00:42:00.000-08:00

The first day of the year 2009 and my New Year resolution is to feel the joy of giving. Over the years, and particularly in the last year, I have understood that there is a deep sense of fulfillment when we give.

We can give so much to those who deserve from us. Spending time with someone lonely, playing with children or having a heart-to-heart talk with a close friend are all acts of giving. When we give, we share much happiness with the ones who receive from us. The very fact that we have given joy to someone is a pleasant feeling and so, a gift to ourselves.

Let us give more of universal love or compassion. If we are unselfishly kind and considerate, the law of karma will work in our favour. Sometimes, it takes time but this law never fails. But, perhaps, more important than the result the course of life will bring gradually is the beauty and the courage of being generous. A few words of genuine praise can work wonders in a person’s life. A so-called small act of compassion may perhaps become the life-line for someone.

However, giving should be spontaneous and voluntary; it should not become compulsive or else, there is no joy or blessing left in it. And, let each one of us give the person who perhaps we neglect the most: give yourself. Give yourself the freedom to lead your life free from conditioning by others. Give yourself the right to move on from a dysfunctional relationship. Give yourself the magic of daring to love the one true love of your life.

Give with joy and you will get many times more in return.

“The fragrance also stays with the hand that gives the rose and the hand that receives the beautiful gift is filled with wonder. God Almighty, thus, blesses both the giver and the receiver.”

A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.

What 2008 Has Taught Me

2008-12-31T03:37:00.000-08:00

As I bid farewell to 2008, I look back to see the gifts this year brought along for me. It has been one year which will remain etched in my heart. A year full of letting-go, acceptance, heart-breaks and unparalleled fulfillment, it has been. A year in which I have seen miracles happen.

2008 has taught me never to lose hope. As I write this post on the last day of this year, there are emotions in me which I am unable to express in words. However, the most wonderful lesson which I re-learnt this year is that nothing is lost. No pain, however insignificant it seems to onlookers, is wasted. No betrayal goes unpunished, and every sincere prayer is answered. It might take many years, perhaps 28, but the deepest desire is always fulfilled, if it is pure and unselfish.

Now that 2008 is going away, will the miracles end? They will never end, for miracles are God’s gifts and He is not a miser. The year 2008, like the microcosm reflecting the working of the whole universe, has reflected for me the truth of timelessness. All experiences are recorded in eternity and all love, beauty and grace are stored in souls willing to take in the wonder.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

Loving from a distance

2008-12-30T05:02:00.000-08:00

Loving from a distance may seem to be a contradiction in terms, but is really not so. Often it is seen that when we try to get close to the object of our love, it creates difficulties: the person may not reciprocate or there might be practical hassles in expressing the love openly. At the same time, it might not be possible or even desirable to stop loving the person. What are we to do in that case?

This can happen in any type of love; parental, filial, friendly or romantic. If this happens, the best thing to do, in my opinion, is to love from a distance. This means to continue loving him but not expecting to be loved in return. Give your best blessings to the object of your love, ask God to look after him and feel happy in his happiness, even if it does not include you. The reward is a heart full of unselfish love and peace of mind as even in separation, you are united with the person you love.

As Bertrand Russell says:

“Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.”

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

The gift of instinct

2008-12-28T02:06:00.000-08:00

Instinct is that sense which cannot yet be explained. Often in some situations, all we can fall back on is instinct in order to help us make decisions. In my own case, I have seen that whenever I have ignored my instinct guiding me, I have suffered the consequences.

Instinct is there in consciousness in order to help us. Much of life is incomprehensible and humankind is definitely not all-knowledgeable. Even at the individual level, there are so many things in life which a person is unable to know. He just does not get the time to learn all that the race collectively knows. This is where instinct comes to his rescue.

Instinct teaches us trust. If we can trust our instinct, we can often avoid many dangers. Thus, this gift of nature, if cherished, works wonders for us and helps us travel through life safely.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

The Years

2008-12-27T04:55:00.000-08:00

As the sun shines this winter
And despite the cold, I feel warm
Remembering how the year went by
I feel amazed to see the work of time.

So much have I gone through this year
Much joy and some tears too I had
The lessons learnt, the peace gained
Have all calmed me down inside.

The same winter will be there
And the same sun will shine on us
When the new year comes with its share
Of happiness and love and living on.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

What Friendship Means To Me

2008-12-26T04:38:00.001-08:00

written for http://www.msn.co.in/

Friendship is that relationship which we choose ourselves. Family ties, being by birth, don’t leave us with scope of selecting. It is friendship and the friends we choose to have that make a statement on the type of people we are.

To me friendship is primarily based on shared values. An honest person will not befriend a thief. A thief, pretending to be friends with an honest man, will only wait for an opportunity to exploit or cheat him. Friends need to be carefully chosen or they will cause much pain in the long run.

Giving space in friendship is integral to the health of the relationship. If your friend starts to dictate terms to you in matters which don’t affect him at all, he is not showing any respect towards you. The same goes for those who always give advice unasked for and pass negative comments. Such people are just pretenders, not true friends.

Friendship is about inner growth. If a person makes you feel empowered to face the challenges of life, he is your friend. If a person is sensitive to your feelings and takes care not to hurt you, she is your friend. In this aspect, friendship gives a sense of fulfillment in life, like few things do. However, that does not mean we become emotionally dependent on our friend and feel shattered if he decides to annul the friendship. Like any other relationship, friendship is a learning experience and should not pose an existential-crisis in a person’s emotional life.

Finally, friendship is about self-respect. Your friend will do his best to boost your self-esteem if needed. Otherwise, in my opinion, you should move on. The universe is full of deserving friends; true friendship needs time to take root and sometimes comes as a welcome surprise. The stranger you are talking to today, may bring with him the chance of a beautiful relationship called true friendship.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

The need for Value Education

2008-12-25T22:44:00.000-08:00

witten for http://www.msn.co.in/

Seeing the acts of violence committed by young people (often in their teens or early twenties) all around us, we are left to wonder if most parents and teachers have forgotten their responsibility towards the younger generation. Both parents and teachers are expected to teach youngsters the art of dealing with the various situations of life, and going by the behaviour of some young people, it is clear they have not learnt anything worth knowing.

No person having anything close to good values can become a cold-blooded murderer or throw acid on another person’s face, whatever the excuse. But these inhuman things are being done, and that too, by young people. This brings up the topic of the moral responsibility of parents and teachers to impart value education to children.

Parents need to make time for their children and use that time constructively. In ways that children can relate to, parents need to impart ethical values like honesty, compassion, positive courage and consideration for those who are disadvantaged. Moreover, they need to make the young ones understand that these values are non-negotiable and should not change under circumstantial pressure. Parents should also explain to children the universally-applicable law of karma. The best illustration of this would be, of course, the good manners exhibited by the parents and their ethically-correct conduct. This is so because children learn best by examples.

If this value education starts at home and is again imparted in school as moral education (I remember attending Moral Science classes in my Alma Mater), chances are that children and adolescents will happily learn good values. It is even better if the value-education incorporates some spiritual-education as well. This will help them understand that there is a Creator who has given each one of us life and so, only He has the right to give death to a person and we have no right to kill or unfairly hurt anyone. However, care needs to be taken to ensure that such spiritual-education is non-denominational in nature or it can lead to religious bigotry.

Not all are teachers and not every home has children. For the ones who are neither parents nor are in the teaching profession, there is still ample scope of doing your bit. All come across young people sometime or the other. If you can talk to them, maybe you can make a lot of difference to many young minds who are hungering for guidance and love.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

More Than I Can Ever Say

2008-12-25T09:36:00.000-08:00

composed for http://www.msn.co.in/

Some say they like my work,
Some are fond of me, calling me a friend;
There is much that is there in my life,
But the emptiness remains…
You are not by my side.

No matter what I do and where I go,
The experience stays incomplete;
The flower withers and colours pale…
You are not by my side.

For reasons known not to me,
I have enthroned you in my soul;
From deep within me, I hear a cry…
You are not by my side.

If only being in heart would mean
Being in the life of one who loves
More than she can ever say…
You would be by my side.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

The individuality of Christ

2008-12-24T09:28:00.000-08:00

written for http://www.msn.co.in/

The name Jesus Christ brings to mind the sacrifice by the Messiah for the redemption of humankind. This is why the Passion or suffering of Christ has such a deep meaning even for those who do not practise Christianity.

Along with the divine role of Christ, we ought to admire him for his deep individuality. As a person, he did what his compassionate heart told him was right. If he believed in God as his father, he preached His message. Even though ostracized and ultimately crucified, Christ never withdrew from his stand. This is an example of how strong positive individualism can be. How many of us, in this age of freedom of choice and belief, would dare die for what we hold precious? That is the lesson of Christ for the common person: respect yourself and have faith in God.

Christ the Messiah is also the Son of Man; so as members of the human race we can all learn the message of this great spiritual leader and develop the courage to stand up for what deep within us we know to be true or right.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

The Mysterious Sound

2008-12-20T23:13:00.000-08:00

composed for www.msn.co.in

As the child ran here and there,
Playing among the hills she knew,
She happened to hear a sound so sweet
And decided to try to find who was there.

She moved to her left and walked
And still she could hear it ahead
Till a point came when she looked back
Shuddering, as she did not know the place.

It was dark around her, the sky above her too;
She felt cold as the wind blew hard,
And as terror engulfed her soul
She cried out “Father” and wept alone.

Her father meanwhile missed her;
It was evening and she, not home;
He left all work and ran out
Praying tearfully, for his lost child.

The crying child heard her name called out,
In a voice so dear to her;
And soon father found the sobbing girl
And he lifted his little angel, back home.

The cause of the sweet sound was never found,
But its purpose is fully clear:
The sound was made to make father and child
Appreciate better, each other.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

My Tipu

2008-12-20T22:33:00.000-08:00

written for www.msn.co.in

My mother had given me a pet bird on my eighth birthday. A bright green parrot he was and I was overjoyed to get him. After returning from school, my first action was to run towards his cage and look at him. Taking immense pleasure in feeding him, I would watch with awe as he frantically climbed up and down the almost-circular wall of his cage. Never would I be able to climb up the walls in my room, I told my cousin and together, we burst out laughing.

However, as we were laughing, something happened in my mind and I started thinking why my parrot (I had named him Tipu) was so frantic in climbing. That evening, after finishing my homework, I started thinking about Tipu’s behaviour again. Why was my bird so restless?

In the morning, I got the answer to my question as I saw a pigeon come and sit on my window-sill. Birds are supposed to fly in the sky and make nests in trees! My Tipu was locked in his cage just for my amusement. I decided to do something about it although the decision broke my heart.

As my mother was having her afternoon-siesta, I decided to put my plan into action. Surreptitiously, as if I was a criminal, I opened my Tipu’s cage and gently nudged him out of it. Then, as he was fluttering his wings, I took him to the garden and set him free.

With aching joy filling up my heart, I saw Tipu fly, a flash of bright green against the soft blue of the sky and soon he alighted at the nearby guava tree. The green of my parrot merged with the green of the tree and there were tears in my eyes.

“If you love someone, set him free…”

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

Believe in the imminent dawn

2008-12-20T22:21:00.000-08:00

written for www.msn.co.in

It is darkest before dawn, we all know. However, when it is dark and we need to see day-break, are we able to wait and hope for light patiently? Or, do we despair, having lost all faith in the approaching dawn?

Most of us would say that it is only common sense to realize that dawn comes after night. But in life, are we always willing to believe that happiness comes after tests and difficulties? Perhaps, many amongst us would lose hope and blame life or circumstances bitterly when things go wrong. In the process, hope is being compromised.

If on the other hand, we can trust the cycles of life and know that just like day comes after night, happiness and fulfillment come after hardship, we will generate a lot of positive energy in our lives. This positive energy will manifest gradually in situations and circumstances in our favour.

True, life is never 100% trouble or sorrow-free; however, our optimistic attitude makes it easier for us to deal with difficulties. Believe in the promise of the beautiful dawn. Not even the darkest night can stop the dawn from coming.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

The Call Of The Ocean

2008-12-20T03:40:00.000-08:00

- by Ayesha Parveen 19 Dec 2008.

This story has been read 161 times.

http://content.msn.co.in/MSNContribute/Story.aspx?PageID=4501e400-c96b-4c2e-bf2a-b9916544d52b

The waves all break on the rocks and sand
And then go back to the ocean;
As I sit there and feel the water-spray,
I yearn to join the ocean.

The incessant movement of water
Reminds me of fluidity of time;
Tired was I of struggling each day,
When I heard the call of the ocean.

My day has come and I must go,
Leaving behind all that hurt me once;
I will float away and be gone from here,
Carried gently by the ocean.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

Why I believe in God and life beyond death

2008-12-20T00:15:00.001-08:00

- by Ayesha Parveen 16 Dec 2008. This story has been read 381 times.

http://content.msn.co.in/MSNContribute/Story.aspx?PageID=2889d85a-f223-4f83-b927-35fb08be5ba7

To me the most natural thing is to believe that I will continue to consciously be as I move beyond this life. So many soul-searching questions have made me fully convinced that I can never become annihilated.

This is so because I am an individual identity, and not a bundle of flesh and bones and skin and hormones. I am more that all that. As I was growing up, I had some intense moments of thinking which have made me understand that I am always there, no matter what.

And I am not God, though His presence or touch is felt in me just like it is felt in all creatures. I call it the voice of conscience or God manifested as the Parmaatma, witnessing our actions and guiding us. Never can I become equal to Him. Uniting with Him means going back to His full presence in the hereafter. It does not mean becoming equal to Him because if any creature had the capacity to be so, he or she or it would never have suffered pain in this life. It does not mean we lose our individual identity with death because if there is no identity, there is no consciousness and the whole journey of life undertaken would become meaningless. We suffer because we are imperfect. God is always perfect.

My experiences in life, both happy and painful, have made me understand that nothing is wasted. Love has a meaning: that we can (and do) reach out to others in love and compassion proves that these feelings are so beautiful and eternal. There is someone who is giving us these beautiful experiences. That someone is God. On the other hand, experiences like pain make us realize we are not all-powerful. There is someone in front of whom the whole universe is helpless. That someone is God.

Finally, deep within me is a voice saying that there is justice in the wider scheme of things. There is a pattern in the way things happen, although I may not always immediately understand it. But I have learnt to trust it because over the years, I see that often, I understand the significance of an experience only years after it happens.

Finally, I feel a deep sense of peace and trust because I know that although I am imperfect, He guides and helps me all the time and is by my side. He is that Supreme Person referred to as God and compared to Him, each creature is infinitesimal. So, the final lesson I learn from any experience, is that of joy and hope.

“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
(Quoted from Ralph Waldo Emerson, American author, poet and philosopher)

(The ideas expressed here are based on my personal understanding of my experiences and my intention here is not to criticize or propagate any organized religion.)

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

The Terrorist Within

2008-12-19T04:17:00.000-08:00

- by Ayesha Parveen 12 Dec 2008

This story has been read 668 times.

http://content.msn.co.in/MSNContribute/Story.aspx?PageID=8bed3f7a-b0a8-422b-aef9-e2b8cd3ad1b6

How many times do we stop to think seriously where terror originates? In the final analysis, terror originates in the mind of a person. Since terrorism is practice of terror, this evil or malaise (whichever way you want to regard it) takes root in the human consciousness and then is gradually manifested in various aspects of his life. The first casualties are the immediate family members. Look into the family background of a terrorist and chances are that you will find he dominated his spouse cruelly or was brutal in disciplining his children.

Socio-financial circumstances or a perverse sense of communal feeling instilled in him by others only add fuel to the fire. The root is still his mind. Being an individual, he has the power to think for himself, which, unfortunately the terrorist discards. This happens because his mind is totally focused on causing pain and destruction, whatever the excuse. Stripped of his camouflage of rebellion, the terrorist comes off as both the product and the propagator of what could be called a wicked ideology of hate.

Since the terrorist is born a human being, logically-speaking, each person has within him the potential to become a terrorist, if he chooses a wrong ideology of society, religion or the individual’s freedom. Similarly, each terrorist-in-the-making can prevent himself from becoming a terrorist finally, if he calms his mind, takes pride in his individuality and thinks for himself.

I believe that ultimately, mind controls matter and so if each individual honestly tries to clean his mind of thoughts of hurting others, a day will come when the terrorist within (in the mind) will die and all can breathe a sigh of relief. It might seem wishful thinking, but logically considered, it is possible. The purpose of writing this article is to covey my ideas on the origin of terror. I will consider myself very fortunate if the readers spread the message that each person can do his bit in conquering terrorism.

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com

He Is Here, Right Beside Us

2008-12-18T23:34:00.000-08:00

- by Ayesha Parveen 04 Dec 2008
Category: Lifestyle. This story has been read 84 times.
http://content.msn.co.in/MSNContribute/Story.aspx?PageID=b22de45a-05b5-40b3-a2ef-56b81ef0c539

A few hours ago, I had to attend a workshop on dyslexia (a learning disability) and how to deal with dyslexic children. Although it was an interesting discussion, at some points during the workshop, I was feeling tired and could not concentrate on all that was being said. Even worse, I was not volunteering to answer questions on the topic even though most of the answers were known to me. Some hours before the workshop started, I had written a poem on Vaasudev Krishna and now, I kept on recalling lines from it.

In due time the workshop ended and each participant had to answer a questionnaire. The first directive on the form said that we had to read the other directives and questions carefully before we started answering any question. The conductor said that the one who finished and submitted the paper first would be declared the winner. Everyone around and in front of me had already started writing answers to the questions and the directives.
I saw the first question: “What is your name? Please answer in full.” I wrote my name, feeling irritated at what I then considered to be a waste of time.

Then, without an understandable reason, I glanced at the last sentence printed on the questionnaire: “Answer only the first question.” Needless to say, I finished first and was declared the winner. Some might call it an ordinary coincidence but I know it was not so because never before in my life, had I read a last question right at the beginning of the work given. To the admiration of some of my colleagues and to the chagrin of many others, I was declared a winner, although I know I had no hand in what had happened.

Vaasudev Krishna Himself guided my eyes. Yes, miracles happen. My life is full of them. I also want to share with my readers the following lines:

“There is no event so commonplace but that God is present in it, always hiddenly, always leaving you room to recognize Him or not to recognize Him…..Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the heavenly and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”
(Quoted from Carl Frederick Buechner, an American author)

ayeshacgs@hotmail.com